Benarasi Silk Wedding shalu

A Shalu is considered a woman’s most prized possession – a saree that symbolizes a new beginning. With passing time, the dynamic between a woman, her family and her in-laws has changed tremendously. In 1985, a dashing woman who wore the most fashionable outfits ranging from Midis to denims and recreating looks from her most favorite movies married into a modest family that believed in simple living – an adjustment to say the least.


This is my mother’s shalu from her wedding in December 1985 and one of my favorite sarees from her closet. A banarasi silk saree with a zari weave – one of the simplest looks with minimalistic jewelry was her wedding look. With that being said, did she look like the prettiest, most graceful bride the world had ever seen. A woman set to take the world by a storm, getting married at the age of 21 and becoming a homemaker. You would think this is a challenge for her but she was used to any and every challenge thrown at her – being the eldest daughter and having helped raise 3 younger brothers, she had excelled at the homemaker part of her marital duties very early on.

I’ve always believed that the easiest job is that of a homemaker – how hard can it be to make sure the house is clean, there is food(that all members of the family like) on the table and bills are paid on time? At the age of 24 was when  had to take care of my own apartment and that is when I realized how hard it was to do all of those things that to me seemed like a easy task. It took me 24 years to realize why my mother never sat with the family to watch TV after dinner, it was because she was cleaning the kitchen afterwards or why she would spend family time on weekends constantly on her feet – doing laundry and making snacks that even I didn’t know I wanted. She spent years knowing us and what we wanted better than anyone ever could- including ourselves.

That’s when I realized the truth, being passionate and following your dreams is the easy part because the only person you have to think about is yourself. The hardest task is giving up your dreams and devoting your life selflessly to a husband, in-laws and kids till you turn 55 and grey and have completely forgotten your passions and live through your children’s passions.

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